JUST FOR TODAY – LIFE ON PAUSE

After a few hefty nudges from Jim, family, and friends— it dawned on me that it might be time to take a few deep breathes, put my Type A+ just-get-it-done life on pause . . . and celebrate the publication of CAPE MAYBE!

Putting life on slo-mo may sound easy-peasy, but if you know me, you know slowing down is not my strong suit.

The last two years have been a whirlwind of working with editors, rewriting, revising, proofreading, learning book design, self-publishing, social networking, book marketing, and in less than nine months publishing PEACE BY PIECE and CAPE MAYBE. Oh, and in between, I left one job and started another, because writing is NOT my day job, it’s my “hobby.”

To say I’ve spent more than a few days on fast-forward is an understatement, but Carol on fast-forward is nothing new. It hit me that it might be time to pause and take stock when I noticed others viewed CAPE MAYBE’S publication as a huge accomplishment while I treated it as one more thing checked off my long to-do list with so much more to do!  

It reminds me of a time about 20 years ago when I was a Human Resources Director in a four person H.R. Department. We were simultaneously doing the due diligence for a merger, closing one pension plan and creating another, installing a new payroll system, going through our annual employee benefits open enrollment—and all while our benefits coordinator was on leave. At a staff meeting the day after our near flawless payroll go-live, I said something like, “Go-live yesterday was almost perfect which means today we shift gears and focus full-force on the open-enrollment deadline, auditing the pension plan, blah, blah, blah  . . .”

My secretary meekly waved her hand, asking if instead of diving head first into the next projects, we could take a one day breather and celebrate bringing up a new payroll system and everyone getting paid right.

See? Carol on fast-forward—nothing new.

So, just for today--and if Jim has his way, tomorrow, and the next day(s)--I’m trying to put my over-achieving-self on pause.

It has been more than half my lifetime since the first time I said out loud that I wanted to write a book.

Just for today, I will try to pause and bask in the realization that after 15 years of writing and rewriting, in the last nine months, I have finished and published TWO!

A Lesson in Slowing Down

 

 

 

Of the many changes that came with the decision to “early-retire,” most unexpected for me is the realization that having more time does not automatically mean getting more done— that the real gift of having more time is in learning to slow down.

Several years ago, when I was still in my 55-60 hour a week HR job, I was the only non-retired member in a weekly writing critique group. Often, I was the most fanatical about attending our meetings—once, when my leg was broken, I scuttled up a steep, rain-dampened fire escape on my butt to reach the meeting room.  It wasn’t unusual for me to be the only one with a new piece of writing for critique. I used to ask the retired guys what kept them from writing when they had all that time off. They said things like, “Time is different when you retire, you’ll see.”

So after 5 weeks of what Jim now refers to as “retirement practice” I am back to work 3 days a week and here’s what I have learned. Slowing down felt so good, I want to stay slowed down.

Gone is that burning need to be on my computer by 4:30 or 5 A.M. to write or edit, on my bike or powerwalking by 6, squeezing in housework or prepping dinner before  rushing through the motions to shower and dress  by 7,  setting my cruise control for just over the limit to be at my desk by 8.

You know the cliché about smelling the roses—when I decided to work less, I knew I would love the newfound time for Jim and family, writing and smelling the salt air.  

But let’s face it—I am an over-achiever. So, what surprises me most about the gift of more time is the utter joy in simply Slowing Down!