Two weeks ago, Carol, one of the other Broads, asked me if I wanted her to write an extra post this month, as I would be on vacation the week I usually write for this site. “No, no,” I said, “I’m sure I can handle one little blog entry.” Fast forward to this morning, when Chris emailed me to make sure I was okay as I hadn’t posted anything yet. Yes, dear readers, I am fine. Great, actually after a week’s vacation, except for a case of the Mommy Brain. (Is there a statute of limitations on blaming my son for forgetting things? If there is, don’t tell me.)
So I think my lesson of the day is that accepting help is good. Having an infant son, working part-time, writing, and running my household keeps my plate pretty full. At the moment, the balance feels okay. Daniel sleeping through the night, and napping, has improved things greatly, but sometimes, okay, often, I can’t do everything myself.
I heard someone say a few months ago that when they help someone else, they feel really good. This made me realize that maybe I’m not bothering someone by asking for help, but giving them an opportunity to feel good. I like that reframe. When I’m able to assist someone, I’m usually glad to do it. Sometimes I say yes when I should say no, but that also teaches me something, so really, I never lose by helping others.
A few months ago, as I left Trader Joe’s with a cart full of groceries and a screaming baby, a man materialized and offered to load the bags into my car. My first inclination was to decline, but instead, I said yes. I strapped the baby into his seat, and by the time I’d finished my assistant was wheeling the cart away, saying over his shoulder that he remembered those days. I imagine that stranger felt good about helping me, and I went home with a grateful heart, touched by the random act of kindness. I try to be kind as often as possible, so maybe I need to practice allowing other people to be kind to me.