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Saturday, August 9, 2014

Once Upon a Time in the Land of Chemo


                                           
by Carol Fragale Brill
 
Admittedly facing cancer and chemo is less fairy tale than scary tale. 

And yet. 

A few hours into my first chemo treatment when the nurse asked how I was feeling, I said sleepy and dopey--and instantly thought of Snow White. I pulled out my cell phone and whipped off something like the following email to my family. 

Once upon a time DOC gave me anti-nausea drugs that make me SLEEPY, borderline HAPPY, and just DOPEY enough to not be BASHFUL. The miracle drugs are working and I am so grateful not to be nauseous because that would make me GRUMPY. And, I’m not having an allergic reaction like I did with anesthesia after surgery so Chemo didn’t make me SNEEZY. 

Oh, and did I mention I’m sitting here with my prince? 

While my ditty lacks literary merit, my writer-self coming out to play during my first chemo treatment felt absolutely huge. 

If it were up to me, I’d add a couple more dwarfs to the mix. The first time the nurse put the needle into my access port, I filled up with tears. Not because she hurt me, I barely felt it, but that needle under my skin, made chemo feel more real. So I’d add a dwarf named Weepy. And for balance I’d add Hopeful, because that is how I want to face each day.   

The day before my chemo, I had a networking breakfast with one of my writing mentors, and a writer we’d never met before who wanted to pick our brains. 

The new writer told me he believes the prayer of strangers is very powerful and that he would pray for my recovery. My mentor said, “I’m praying for you too. I’m praying you keep writing. 

I’m pretty sure he wasn’t talking about a three sentence scary tale. And, yet, I’m guessing when he reads this, it will make him smile.

13 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. It is great to see you maintaining your personality and wit during what must be one of the most difficult times in your life. It could be easy to let Carol the person be subsumed b Carol the patient. Praying that your journey through this is not too hard. Mimi

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    1. Mimi, like we said yesterday, you can't have cancer 24 hours a day.
      best,
      carol

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  3. Non-ending prayers and hugs Carol <3

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    1. Mare,
      and my gratitude for them is non-ending, too
      best,
      carol

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  4. Trust you to come up with the seven dwarfs - brilliant made me laugh and smile. Thanks to the big guy for making sure your sense of humour made it through the chemo.
    Inspiring Carol xxx

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    1. Bell, you've made me laugh and smile enough times, I owed you one :)
      carol xoxo

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  5. Love that you are writing through the chemo. Continued love and prayers from this dwarf "Bossy." :)

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    1. Felicia, LLOL - literally laughing out loud
      carol :)

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  6. Carol,

    Like your mentor, I believe that writing will help you get through this treatment. In some ways, it can be like meditation, or even like a prayer.

    In one of my grad school classes, we had an assignment to take something bad that had happened to us and rewrite the story to a better ending. This might work for you too. (Or maybe we can all do that for you.)

    Keep smiling.

    Chris

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    1. Chris, I like the notion that writing can be like prayer or meditation. I know it often gives me the same kind of peace.
      :)

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  7. Your sense of humor and willingness to keep everything in perspective are inspiring. May your chemo journey be short and successful. Write on! BIG HUG!

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  8. Thanks Mary. Trying keep the journey short by taking it one day at a time.

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