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Friday, September 14, 2012

Persistence in the face of Rejection — Knowing when to remount and when to stop beating a dead horse

 
 
 
 
For most of my adult life, I knew I wanted to write a book. I had no idea what it would be about, or whether it would be fiction or non-fiction. I just knew there was a book inside burning to get out.

When we moved to Cape May 15 years ago, I joined a writing critique group, and page by page started to write. I knew absolutely zero about the craft of writing—show don’t tell, point of view, round vs. flat characters, a sense of narrative place— and even less about getting published. I thought, “If you write it they will come.” Boy, was I naïve.

Developing as a writer has been daunting at times.  More than once, I have asked myself, “If I knew then what I know now, would I have even tried?”

One of the things (besides sheer naivety) that kept me writing was hearing that in writing, just like in life, persistence counts  as much or more than talent. I might have known squat about writing craft, but when it comes to the ability to stick to and complete what I start—whether you call it persistence, diligence, tenacity, determination, loyalty—lucky for me, that is a quality I possess.

Fast forward 15 years, I have written, rewritten, edited and rewritten again (Ad nauseam) 2 novels. I have sent queries (writer language for asking literary agents for representation) had a number of promising nibbles, and the same number of rejections. Each time an agent rejects my work I pick myself up and get back on the horse, sending out more queries. That’s persistence— right?

But when does persistence and getting back in the saddle turn into blind, stubborn denial? When is it time to accept I am beating a dead horse?

They say Gone with the Wind  was rejected 38 times, Stephen King’s Carrie, 30 times, Harry Potter, 12 times, The Help, 60 times, and what might be the all-time winner among breakout successes, Chicken Soup for the Soul, a whopping 140 times. 

How did those authors know to persist in spite of the odds? What kept them from giving up and stashing their unpublished books in a drawer?

When you face obstacles, how do you decide when it is time to stop or at least reconsider your goal?

Counting up my rejections, I am ahead of Harry Potter and closing in on Carrie. Do I set my sights on catching Chicken Soup for the Soul? Or is it time to stable the horse?

20 comments:

  1. Hang in there, Carol. I still save, but stopped counting at 1,000 rejections for poems I sent to journals over 40 years. Fortunately, I have a few hundred acceptances to balance the naughts.

    Writing a poem is a one night stand. If you work it hard enough to publish, it's like going steady for a year or so. Writing, revising (Ad nauseam) is a great commitment, a marriage. One hopes it will be published and outlast you.

    Peter

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  2. You raise a great question! One answer is that if you enjoy it, keep going for that reason. It's easier today to be able to share your work with friends, loved ones and even strangers via the Internet.

    I heard two rumors when I first started writing fiction: For fiction, you'll write for ten years before you publish; For fiction, you'll sell on your fifth. I was 15 years and sold on my 5th novel. I think it's really tempting for new writers to "hold up and wait to see if I sell that first (second, third) one." I see that all the time. Personally, I had the next one at least baking. It felt like a part of my life, almost a "screw the sales end, they're not interrupting me" type of thing.

    I also remember people looking at me and laughing (I was a P.A., lovely Production Assistant which is a bit like a secretary), and one time I heard my boss say, "Where's Carol?? Probably out on the boardwalk editing that stupid stuff nobody is ever going to read! The security guard outside the building just used to get this glint in his eye and ask, "So how's that writing thing going?" as if he wanted to hear me say I quit. I'd always say, "Great!" just to eat at him, and one day he said, 'What'll you do if that doesn't work out?" I turned to him and said without thinking, "Well, life would not be acceptable to me on those terms." I really meant it.

    However, I do think it pays to be certain you are really good at WHAT you're trying to write. My mom wanted to be a top 2%-er (that's Mary Higgins Clark and Stephen King and the other mansion dwellers). She kept writing about serial killers, and she's just the sweetest thing (no dark psyche to project into an ax-murderer). She now writes musical programs, skits and plays for Youth Ministries and she's on top of the world!

    I'd love to be a 2-percenter myself, but that's in the Lord's hands, as I love to say. It is amazingly cool to me to sense an intelligent *and* affectionate source to approach and say, "Where do I go with this?" or "Lead me, please. I'm a grasshopper. I'm clueless. You're not." I'm convinced that He likes it and helps me fine my niches, themes and plots even tho you'd think He would be too busy or wouldn't care about that sort of thing.

    Hope that helps somehow...? Hearts and Hugs to you, girlfriend.

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    1. For some reason, I can't post my own comment, but I can reply. Carol Plum-Ucci's comments say much of what I want to offer as encouragement.

      Keep writing. Keep querying. It's still a journey, not a destination. I've been a writer since I was 10 years old, have had poetry published in a few literary venues since high school, a few essays in newspapers and magazines, and I am working on my second novel even while I haphazardly query for my first. One thing I only recently learned was that almost everything I've ever written creatively that made it to publication (not counting features written for the local paper..but even then, some of them) had been written from the heart. More than that, the pieces were written (and re-written) more with a sense of getting the writing right than getting the writing into print. I also agree with Carol here that maybe my real "first novel" will actually be my third or fourth or fifth or...when I finally grow into the words I have inside me.

      Finally, Poets & Writers Magazine had an article within the last year about a man who published his first novel in his late sixties or early seventies. My friend and mentor, Alexandra Grilikhes, a published poet, a writing teacher,an editor didn't publish her first novel until she was in her sixties. There is still time.

      Big hugs for you from me, too.

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  3. Carol, do not give up!!!!! I know that you have something amazing in your writing. I know this without ever seeing it. I do not have this saying right, but the basis of it is that many people give up when success is just around the corner. "So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit. It's when things seem worse that you must not quit." Unknown. Patti

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  4. The first answer to your question is that you already have written a book, two books in fact. So you should be happy, right? No, the problem is that you want to be published. Such a different desire. But the fact that you haven't written a third book is where the problem lies. I suspect that you feel you have only one story. But every story is a fractal. What about writing it from the bad guy's point of view? Sympathy is always hard to come by if you feel there's only one story because it's usually your story and that point of view is well, prejudiced. So writing it all over again such a perspective allows you to write (that's the fun part, right?) and find new stories. You know my story--15 years before the first novel whilst writing two and three? 37 rejections of the three hundred page draft, 13 rejections of the lighter one. As you might imagine, the second set of rejections felt worse except that I felt I'd written a different book. Ha! Fool thyself!

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  5. Carol ~ Remember only a tiny percent, (I believe it's less than one percent) of unknown writers are finding agents today. Out of those who do, only about 1/2 find a publisher, who expects the writer to do most of the marketing. Also, did you know Kathryn Stockett, author of The Help, was pretty big in the NYC magazine publishing industry and still was rejected 60 times. I treasured my first novel, A Stop in the Park, and put it aside after I couldn't find an agent, although I did have several requests for fulls. I couldn't stand it and decideed to self-publish. I'm getting glowing reviews, even from Kirkus Reviews, which is giving me confidence when marketing my novel. I think the traditional publishing industry is over the top competitive and many excellent books are being overlooked. I wish you the best. Watch for "A Stop in the Park" on Amazon on 9/20 and see how I do. Regardless, I still have my story between a beautifully designed cover instead of in a stack of papers under my bead.

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    1. Peggy, I admire your decision to self-publish and am eager to keep learning about that part of your journey.
      one of my recent insights is that the dream to publish was my goal when I started and became a sort of habit. Now that I am 15 years in, I am not sure it is really the goal anymore. I wrote the books and that is really what I wanted to accomplish. I may follow you along the route to self-pub. . .I know self-pub is a lot of work and not sure I want to steal from my writing time to do it.

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  6. The question was already answered by another person. If you enjoy the writing, continue and keep plugging away. If you're tired, quit for now. You will pick it up again. It will call to you. Just as in interviews, you can see a hundred people and get discouraged. Then two weeks later you decide to look again and suddenly a wonderful person applies. It's all in the timing! Claudia

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  7. Peter, Carol and Terese, I admire each of you and your writing and appreciate that you shared your stories. Each of you have touched my writing life and helped me grow.

    To all, thanks for the reminders that the writer's journey is not an easy one...and that it is about the journey.

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  8. Same questions, same angst that all of us writer's face. I'd really like to know when you figure it out because it IS daunting. So instead of offering advice here, I'd like to just say I feel your pain sista! We're a community...vent, vent...vent. I'm here for you :)

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    1. Thanks Jacqui, hearing other writer's responses to this blog definitely gives me the energy to keep plugging

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  9. Carol, it is wonderful to learn about this other side of you. Here's my advice: Take a lesson from that Nigerian Prince who keeps emailing me about the million dollars I have won.
    Best wishes, Katherine

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    1. LOL, thanks for visiting the blog. Hope to see you here often carol

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  10. Carol, So much great advice here from your writing community. I don't have better wisdom to add, just more encouragement to write. Maybe your next book should be about a writer who is trying to get her book published. You get to write your own happy ending and in doing so, you might find the path you seek. Chris

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    1. I have learned so much from other writer's over the years and they came through again here, reminding me it's a long and winding journey--and how far I have already come.
      I am back on the horse, and smiling about your book idea carol

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  11. Carol as my old mum used to say - a lot - 'what's for you will no' go past you'! So keep the horse at the ready and keep possitive. We never know what's in front of us but we must always have hope and a belief in ourselves. Go Carol.
    Isobel (Bella) x

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  12. Oh Carol, I feel your pain. I too, wonder where the line is between persistence and denial. I know I've crossed that line before. I write because I have to. I write because I'm happier, more peaceful, easier to live with when I'm working on a writing project. It's really that simple. Yes, I want to be part of the 2%, but all I can do is my part, which is to keep writing. Having writer friends helps A LOT. I'm so glad to count you among my writer friends.

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    1. Thanks Julie, one of the best parts of my writing journey has been making friends like you.
      thanks for reminding me, I write for the same reasons as you.

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  13. I think if it is in you to keep writing, do it, keep writing. Just because someone doesn't want your writing voice now, doesn't mean they won't later. Try every avenue available, don't hand around waiting for the big boys to see what you have as being valuable. Try smaller publishers, epubs...believe me, someone will see that you have potential.

    Your persistence is a key feature to your personality that you must hang on to. In my quest for publication, I had agents and publishers (big names) tell me that no, my project wasn't what they were looking for. And isn't that the problem? They don't look at the work that has been submitted for the potential, they have a set type they are looking for and if you don't fit, they discard you with ignorance. That's they're fault, not yours.

    After 30+ rejections and an editor who wanted me to change everything before she worked with me, I got picked up by a small epub who loved that my writing was different. They didn't try to change me, weren't looking for a specific type of book to fill their inventory. And guess what, my debut novel hit the bestseller list within hours of it's publication because it was fresh, something readers were looking for, not what the BIG 6 guys think people what to read. (By the way, since being contracted, I have received 2 more rejection letters!)

    In short, keep your head up, keep writing, and eventually, someone will see your potential!

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  14. M.J. thanks for sharing your story and for reminding me " persistence is a key feature to your personality that you must hang on toJ. thanks for sharing your story and for reminding me "

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