Life Interrupted

Tootsie in Alaska

Postscript:  Tootsie died about four weeks after this post.  In retrospect, the final scene I described below came true.  She was surrounded by loved ones that last week of her life, and while there were no verbal farewells, I think she knew we were there and died at peace.   

My sister-in-law Tootsie made a bad first impression some 15 years ago.  She hosted a meet and greet for the family to evaluate my suitability to marry her brother. She acted like an interrogator, I guess to determine if I was a gold-digger. (I preferred to think of myself as a trophy wife.)  My husband was furious at her and would have written her off.  I was amused at her chutzpah.

We became friends, mostly because I would listen to her stories (over and over and over).  Here's the short version of her legend.  One of 5 children growing up fatherless in the depression, life was a struggle but the family endured. She claims they were the writer's model for "The Brady Bunch."  (He grew up in their North Philly neighborhood.)

She rode on the shoulders of Jack Dempsey as a child. As a young woman, she worked at her husband’s business, a Ford dealership.  She met Jack Kennedy during his presidential campaign, Lee Iacocca when he was president of Ford, and Frankie Avalon, when he bought a car at her dealership. She had a private audience with Pope John XXIII.  She single-handedly managed a farm and owned a restaurant. She divorced her first husband, had a career as an office manager, and toured the world.  She lived unmarried but committed to a long-term companion. Her lover died 5 years ago, and since then, she has been a prisoner of grief, alive but not involved. 

On Sunday, three unanswered phone calls aroused my fears. I found her barely conscious on the floor of her condo. The good news is that she did not die alone; the bad news is that she did not die. A stroke has paralyzed her left side but her mind is sharp, she can talk, and she can swallow food.

Tootsie would have wanted her final story to feature loved ones gathered round her hospital bed whispering farewells as she walked into the next life. I wish it could be so.  We are headed into the twilight zone of long-term care.  She will not go gently.