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Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Who Else is a Type A?


 

When it comes to being Type A, I have perfected the genre. In fact, A isn’t really what I shoot for. I am more an A to the 2nd degree, more a Type A + (++?).
I’ve know this about myself for years. Jim and I still laugh about the time when I was thirty-something and received my grades for a couple of Temple University courses. On the back, there was a chart that read, A = Excellent, B = Very Good, C = Average.
I read it. I read it again and stopped dead in my tracks, gaping at Jim. 
Me, “C is average?”
Jim, “Yes  .  .  .”
Me, (clearly mystified) “I thought A was AVERAGE!”
To be clear, I’m not saying I thought A stood for the A in Average. I’m saying, I thought everyone got A’s, and that’s what made it average!
Tell me I’m not the only one.
Being Type A+ often serves me well. And then, there are those other times.
Times when my perfectionism is not satisfied hitting the target—it demands a perfect bull’s-eye. Those times, I start believing there is only one, absolutely dead-on answer and I get sucked into a whirlpool of over-analyzing self-doubt because I have to get it right!
Prepping my Cape Maybe cover turned into one of those times.
With the help of several friends, we staged a photo shoot at Cape May Cove with Cape May Point and the lighthouse in the distance. A couple of dozen pictures later, my perfectionism kicked in.
Jim and I studied each image Ad nauseam looking for that one perfect shot—the one with the young couple, or should the girl be showcased alone? If alone, should she be sitting or standing? Blue sky or gray—ocean calm or slightly turbulent?
Panic rising, I descended into over-analytic-mode, sending the pictures to a half-dozen friends, scrutinizing the covers of all my favorite novels, and dissecting page after page of beach read covers online. After a few days of hand-wringing, I had six different opinions from the friends I poled and a pair of computer-strained eyes.
In the midst of my self-doubting swirl, I remembered advice my longtime friend Susan gave me years ago.
Now would be a good time to breathe.
So, I took a deep breath and another and another. Still uncertain, I decided to go with my gut and sent my five favorites off the publisher’s design team.
 Maybe I couldn’t narrow it down to one, but I’m still deep breathing and reminding myself I made progress by letting go and putting the choice in the design team’s perfectly capable hands—and that sometimes the perfect solution is progress not perfection.  

15 comments:

  1. Good for you Carol! You're figuring it out. The cover of your book is important but not as much as the words you have written and your self-growth :)

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    1. Thanks Mar. Sometimes I think I keep learn the same lesson over and over, but I know even that is progress :)

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  2. Can associate with your reactions. I found that with my novel Streets on a Map. I wasn't happy with the publisher's initial ideas, colour and cover. Fortunately they were flexible and listened. In the end I loved what we came up with. but you're right while covers are important but the words more so.

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    1. Hi Dale, agree it starts with writing a great book. The story is what will really sell it.
      And don't think I didn't Type A stress over the story and writing :)

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  3. As a recovering perfectionist, I remind myself that if it's perfect vs wrong. I'll always be wrong. Perfect being an impossible standard to achieve.

    Sometimes that helps. Not every time.

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    1. I like to think of myself as a recovering perfectionist, too. In my case, seems like I'm on the slow recovery track :)

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  4. Loved this post! It's relateable to me in so many ways. One example: my neat freak instincts. I think I came barreling out of the womb and promptly straightened the sheets on the delivery table! But as the years pass, I've made an effort to breath more (my most effective technique)so that I can give myself time to evaluate what is really important. I think only the passage of time has afforded me this. That and my friends constantly imploring, "Step away from the dust buster." My book cover? Yikes...now that was a journey.....sigh!

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  5. Carol,

    I am definitely not a type A personality, more like a B-minus I think. Sometimes I have been critical of myself because I accept "good enough" over perfect, but in the long run, I think my nature will probably extend my life a few years.

    When I have to choose something like a photo or artwork, I go with my gut. Which one called out to you first before you allowed your mind to wander to another?

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    1. Chris, I think your B- is a huge part of the draw of your friendship.
      And, here's the thing about being type A, I'm already thinking/analyzing before my gut gets a say :)

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  6. Funny, Carol--And, actually, with grade inflation, A IS average these days (or so I tell my son, to no avail). Perfectionism is a perfect strategy for getting nothing done.
    Ellen

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    1. Yikes, grade inflation. So glad grades are behind me. love " Perfectionism is a perfect strategy for getting nothing done."

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  7. Letting go is the first step in the 10-step program. You're on your way to recovery!

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    1. Jasmine, some days it feel like "groundhog" day over and over repeating step one! But, what I relief when I finally learn to let go

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  8. Ah perfectionism, my old friend. One of my mantras that helps me make a move when I'm paralyzed with fear of not getting "it right" is "Whatever is worth doing is worth doing badly." It's better to do something badly, then not do it at all for fear of failure, in my humble opinion. But I need to remind myself of that often.

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    1. thanks Julie. It takes regular reminders for me, too.

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